Coexistence in the Land of the Neurotypical

You Do Care

Many aspies make the assumption their emotions and intentions are understood sans vocalisation. This is most likely due to our poor Theory of Mind; we believe it is unnecessary to express our emotions, because we assume it is implicit to others. We also make the mistake of thinking of social contact as a robotic exchange of data — one which neurotypicals are bad at, due to their “useless” apologies and thanks.

Sappy Signalling

The quickest results will come with the most pain; the more you express your inner emotions, the quicker that mechanical tulpa of you vanishes from NT minds. But as you well know, the more this is done the more at risk you are of becoming disillusioned and isolating yourself.

Care for Negative Wellbeing

“I’m sorry” generalises to the class of interactions that let NTs know we care about their pain — from the pain we caused them to the pain we sympathise with. Experience inserting this into conversation let’s one begin to ask about others' problems, listen to them and show a genuine concern. This is tremendously important, because their sympathy will wane for your complaints if you cannot *verbally* show them that you care likewise.

Care for Positive Wellbeing

“How are you doing?” extends similarly to a kind of Neurotypical Pleasure Protocol. In order to ensure your possible rants and verbosity are listened to by the other party, you must first show your interest in their successes and daily life.

Care for the Relationship

“I appreciate it” is an innocuous phrase in the context of thanking another for a favour. This however, is only the tip of the iceberg.

You Know Best

Take nothing I state here as gospel. Test everything and invent your own algorithms. The most important part is that you realise there is a meaning, even if only in your subconscious brain, to acting in these basic social manners. The only true way to mitigate some of the difficulties of ASD is to keep trying, and to do it slowly enough that you do not become disillusioned. You are deemed the most socially incompetent upon social withdrawal — not when you try.

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